Guidelines for Posts on the Ladies of Courage Listserv

The following are some general guidelines to assist you when posting messages on the Ladies of Courage listserv. We want to foster a safe environment of openness, trust, and support, and the words we use in our messages can help to create such a space. Therefore, we present to you the following guidelines:

    • Do feel free to share openly and from the heart. Whatever struggles you may be going through with same-sex attraction, it’s okay to share the particulars of those struggles with the list.
    • We ask members to please not refer to themselves as “gay” or “lesbian”. Oftentimes, these terms have political and moral implications which are not compatible with Catholic teaching. The user of the terms “gay” and “lesbian” may not intend those implications, but their usage may unwittingly be confusing and misleading to other listserv members. We prefer to refer to ourselves as “persons with same-sex attractions (SSA).” (For more on this, please go to the Frequently Asked Questions section).
    • If you are now living chastely with someone with whom you used to be sexually involved, it’s certainly okay to talk about this on the list. We do ask, however, that you please not continue to refer to that person as your “partner” in your posts. Again, that terminology may be misleading to a new person who comes on to the list and doesn’t realize that you are now in a chaste relationship, or striving to be in a chaste relationship. It’s okay to refer to that person as your roommate, or friend instead of using the term “partner”.
    • List members are free to e-mail each other privately; however, we ask that you also try to post messages to the whole list, so that all may benefit from the advice and the sharing that takes place in this forum. If members wish to exchange phone numbers to give each other telephone support, that is also permissible. We encourage our members to develop healthy, chaste, supportive friendships. Try to reach out to several people on the list for friendship and support, so that you don’t find yourself depending upon only one person all the time. It’s always a good idea to try to develop at least two or three good friendships in a forum such as this.
    • Courage can not be held responsible for the content of any private e-mails you may receive from other list-members; however, if any list-member has concerns about the content of the private e-mails they are receiving from another list-member, this can be brought to the attention of the list moderator (Yvonne) who can confidentially address the parties involved and, if necessary, remove members from the list.
    • To join this list you must have a willingness to try to live by the 5 goals of Courage. They are as follows:
      1. To live chaste lives in accordance with the Roman Catholic Church’s teaching on homosexuality. (Chastity)
      2. To dedicate one’s life to Christ through service to others, spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, individual spiritual direction, frequent attendance at Mass, and the frequent reception of the sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist. (Prayer and Dedication)
      3. To foster a spirit of fellowship in which all may share thoughts and experiences, and so ensure that no one will have to face the problems of homosexuality alone. (Fellowship)
      4. To be mindful of the truth that chaste friendships are not only possible but necessary in a chaste Christian life and in doing so provide encouragement to one another in forming and sustaining them. (Support)
      5. To live lives that may serve as good examples to others. (Good Example)

To request membership in this list, please send an email to